


neither/nor

by rain_at_dawn



Series: stars, scattered [18]
Category: SHINee
Genre: M/M, Paranormal AU, Pre-Relationship, flirting (if you squint), mysterious happenings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-28
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:20:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23358409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rain_at_dawn/pseuds/rain_at_dawn
Summary: I fell in love with the in-betweenColoring in the margins
Relationships: Kim Jonghyun/Lee Jinki | Onew
Series: stars, scattered [18]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1608877
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	neither/nor

**Author's Note:**

> prompted by @ChanHeisa on Twitter
> 
> song inspo - neither/nor by moses sumney

“And approximately 2.5 million light years away, Andromeda. The nearest galaxy to earth and it’s 2.5 million light years away…”

As if taken aback by the realization, the voice on the radio breaks into a soft chuckle, clear as rain. It’s only when the host picks up his speech again that Jinki feels his chest expand in relief, releasing a breath he hadn’t realized was held captive.

“… yet, a light year might still be surmountable, when we think of the distance that lies between us and some of the lives that cross ours. On nights like these, I imagine loneliness to be nothing but a game and here I am, luxuriating in it, like I’m the one winning.

“But that’s just another thing I tell myself. Myself only. It’s just…”

The voice seems to trail off in the crash of lightning that rings in Jinki’s ears. There must be an angry god come to vent his temper against the cavernous black sky tonight; as if to soften each thunderous blow, the tendrils of water that begin to line his car windows are tenderness tenfold.

He turns up the volume.

“… nights like these will pass too. This has been Blue Night radio – ”

Jinki mouths the last part, right on cue with the host: _“ – with Kim Jonghyun.”_

The radio blows out, all sounds dissolving into static mess. It’s enough noise, but not enough to drown out the voice echoing in Jinki’s battered old Kia, reverberating from the confines of his thoughts. In the passenger seat, the knot of forget-me-nots now gleams icy blue in the darkness.

Someday, Jinki hopes to get to the bottom of all this: the flowers left on his desk, on the worn-out, faded welcome mat in front of the cramped studio he calls an ‘office’, sometimes flung right out of the ether through an open window while he was in the middle of a coffee break. All of the little bouquets came attached with a note on which three numbers and two letters were scrawled: _5.25_ on one side, _FM_ on the reverse.

At first, neither he nor Minho could locate the station, no matter which device they used, including the old analog box radio that had once belonged to Minho’s grandfather. Then the packet of chocolates arrived, neatly wrapped up in turquoise crepe paper and matching ribbon, on which the new note was affixed: _Midnight_ , it read.

Three weeks have passed and Jinki has been tuning in faithfully. He still remembers the first time he’d heard the voice, greeting him, remembers the shot in his bloodstream which no amount of caffeine would later replicate. The half-full, lukewarm paper cup of coffee from the convenience store, shaking slightly in its holder, seems like a testament to that.

2,571 false leads, not a single one leading to the owner of that marvelous voice. _Kim Jonghyun,_ Jinki tries it again, _Jonghyun_ , disconcerted with the way it fits perfectly in his mouth, glides smoothly off the tip of his tongue. He takes a sip from the paper cup, relishing the momentary bitterness.

Suddenly, the static clears.

“Take care. Come and rest well tomorrow.”

Jinki chokes.

* * *

After the chocolates, the notes began to arrive with increasing frequency. They appeared in the most innocuous sense; slid in-between the folds of the daily newspapers delivered to their doorstep, rolled into little curlicues and tucked into the flower arrangements on one of the tables in the bistro he and Minho frequented for lunch. 

They’d grown longer too. Jinki spreads them out on his kitchen counter-top, taking in each word alongside the aroma of fried eggs and the sound of larks at sunrise.

_‘Unconditionally enduring everything, it’s not necessary to put up with it.’_

_‘You’re tired today, aren’t you? I’m sorry to offer nothing but this much: thank you.’_

_‘Do you think there’s such a thing as a season of love? Where is love?’_

_‘The shape of the moon… it changes a little, doesn’t it? Because of the shadow.’_

And there’s many more, so much Jonghyun has to say to him of all people. Jinki keeps arranging and rearranging the strips of paper, trying to make sense of where the story’s going. Seoul was too large of a place for such fleeting interactions. It was easy enough to allow anyone to fade into the shadows as soon as daylight approached.

The latest message was attached to the tiny bouquet which had mysteriously landed in the passenger seat of Jinki’s car, as if waiting to take him by surprise.

_‘Life’s too short. Take it lightly.’_

Jinki pushes back at the smile, sucking in his lips to lick at the traces of the coffee from last night. Time to try again.

He places the new paper strip at the bottom of the column made up of its predecessors. It dawns on him that if this was a series of texts on a screen, it would read as someone looking out for him. Jinki knew he wasn’t alone in the world; last night, however, had felt like the loneliest night in the universe. Except for him and the voice.

Jinki begins from the top, replaying the messages in Jonghyun’s voice, trying to match the exact melody. But in the daylight, a door has closed, cutting him off from the night and its unknown specters. Still, he closes his eyes and tries again:

_‘… Take it lightly.’_

The door remains closed, but the smile dances unchecked on Jinki’s face before he realizes it’s there. It makes him sigh as he gathers up the strips and binds them together with a rubber band. He hasn’t slept at all and soon, it’ll be time to meet Minho at the office. They’d have ongoing cases to review and new ones to receive. The first coffee of the morning would be far from his last.

And afterwards… the night would beckon yet again, and Jinki would wait in silence for Jonghyun to fill the spaces in-between.

He takes one last long glance at the receding moon before he draws the curtains. 

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [take the dive](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24037498) by [rain_at_dawn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rain_at_dawn/pseuds/rain_at_dawn)




End file.
